Mrs. Pajak

David is a new kindergartner at our school this year. He was adopted from China and is doing a great job learning our language. He's still learning though.

I recently walked by his table at lunch last week only to have the following conversation.

David: Mrs. Pajak! Mrs. Pajak! Come here! Mrs. Pajak!
Me: David, I'm a Mister.
David: (short pause) Mr. Piersak! (our gym teacher)
Me: No, David. I'm Mr. Pajak.
David: Mrs. Pajak? Mrs. Pajak!
Me: Mister. Mister. Mr. Pajak
David: Mr. Piersa...
Me: David. Slow down. Start with Mr.
David: Mr.......
Me: Now say Pajak.
David: Pajak.
Me: Mr. Pajak.
David: Miissterr Paaajaaak.
Me. There we go! So what's up?
David: Mrs. Pajak, Connor ate his corn dog!

We had almost the exact same conversation yesterday.

Triangles. There's More Than One?

We are in a heavy geometry section in my 6th grade math class. A recent lesson focused on 6 types of triangles. Those classified by angle: acute, right, and obtuse. And those classified by length of sides: equilateral, isosceles, and scalene.

Pop quiz answers:

1. Right triangle 

2. Obtuse triangle

3. Equilateral triangle

4. Scalene triangle

5. Isosceles triangle

6th grade answers:

Pretty sure risosily is not a word.

Math. Not social studies.

Spelling was a bit inventive for #5.

Math. Not science.

Quadtrangle.

Lunchroom Conversations

One of my (super fun) duties as assistant principal is to monitor the lunch room each day. I try to walk around and have conversations with the kids to try and take my mind off the low roar that will be sure to turn into at least a slight headache. As it turns out, these little conversations are the things that can make a mediocre day a little brighter. Here are a few of the highlights from the year so far:

Connor, a 2nd grader, is frantically waving his hand at me from across the lunchroom. When I arrive he asks, "Mr. Pajak, can you bring me some napkins?"
Me: Sure, what do you....oh. Is it for the pasta sauce that's in your hair?
Connor: Yeah.
Me: How did that happen?
Connor: I'm not really sure.

4th grader: Mr. Pajak, how old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
4th grader: Well.....my dad is 50. So you must be....53? (I'm 31)

Passing by a first grader trying to eat honeydew melon I overhear her mumble in frustration: "Uhhh. It's really hard to eat melon without front teeth."

Michael, a 4th grader, was telling me about one of his classmates. I didn't know who the boy was so I asked him to point him out. He pointed across a few tables and said, "He's the one in the red shirt."
Me: Michael, all the boys have red shirts. That's part of your uniform.

The kindergarten group is always good for a laugh. I was just saying hello as I walked by one of the tables when Braden stopped me.
Mr. Pajak, don't believe David that we took a trip across the ocean to see his family.
Me: Um....
Braden: (Dead serious) It's not true.

I always enjoy talking with Caroline a first grader. I happened to walk over by her on a day the lunch room was serving pancakes. She had syrup ALL over her shirt. So I asked, "Caroline, why on earth is there syrup all over your shirt?"
Caroline: I don't really like the pancakes, so I tried to drink the syrup. I think I need a rag.

As Timothy, a 1st grader, was leaving the lunchroom to go out for recess he said, matter-of-factly, "Mr. Pajak, it's been 2 months and.....(definitively) 25 days since my birthday." Then without waiting for a response, he continued walking down the hallway and out to recess.

I'll leave you with a piece of advice I've discovered during my time in the lunchroom.
Please. Please! If you have a child who is under the age of 12, do not pack their lunch with "yogurt tubes." I have had to open more of these than I can count. Only 10% of kids under 12 are able to open these. Do your lunchroom pals a favor and skip the yogurt!

Save Our People!

Recently we had a winter clothing drive at our school. The goal was to collect coats and other outerwear to give to a local charity that distributes them to people in need. We've done this for quite a few years and have always managed to bring in a decent amount of clothing. This year to help promote the winter clothing drive the fourth grade students created signs to hang around the school. Here are a few of the signs.

Not bad.  A bit short on information, but with the other signs it wasn't really needed.

Another good one. Nothing like making people feel guilty!

This one was right by the main school entrance. 

Slap Happy

It's been a while since I've written a post, but it's been a busy few months for me. Here's a little update. At the end of the previous school year the assistant principal job became available. After much thought I decided to apply for the job. I was fortunate enough to get the position, and luckily I am still teaching as well! I teach a section each of 6th and 7th grade math.

I was worried I wouldn't have enough funny stories to continue the blog, but I was wrong! Unfortunately, the first month and a half of a new job along with way too many fall weddings left me with little time. Now that things have calmed down a bit, I can get back to sharing some of the stories that keep me (and hopefully you) smiling.

Part of my job involves talking to those kids that get sent to the principal's office. Which makes sense because I am a principal... So far, this part of my job is definitely my least favorite. Today's experience wasn't fun, but it did have a moment that I couldn't help but smile about.

Tommy's teacher asked me to talk to Tommy about his behavior at recess. The previous day a recess supervisor had to ask Tommy, a 4th grader, to stop going up to girls and spanking them. Apparently this hadn't been the first time Tommy had to be asked to stop spanking his classmates.

When Tommy first got to my office we went through why he needed to see me. I explained to him that while he may have thought it was funny to spank the girls, it was an inappropriate thing to do. He expressed that he knew what he did was wrong and that he wouldn't do it anymore.

So I asked him: 'So you realize what you did was wrong?'
'Yes, I know it was wrong. I won't do it ever again.'
'Do you know why it was wrong?'
'Yes, because it was inappropriate.'
'Why was it inappropriate?'
'Because I will get in really big trouble if I do it again.'
'Yes Tommy, we talked about you having consequences if you do it again, but why will you get in trouble?'
'Cause it was inappropriate.'
'(Sigh) Yes, what causes it to be inappropriate?'
'Well, you get in trouble. Big trouble.'
'Tommy. Why is it wrong?'
'(After a slight hesitation) cause it's inappropriate?'

The circular conversation continued for a bit long before I finally explained not only why spanking is inappropriate, but what the word inappropriate means.

It's Honestly Not that Bad

Tonight I finished correcting all the students' state reports. It's a sure sign that summer vacation is almost here! There were definitely some reports that were put together at the last minute, a ton that were just amazing, several with some plagiarism, and few here and there that made me laugh.

Apparently, Claire has been to Alaska...

Who wouldn't want to live in a place with a cool name?

So lovely. I remember like it was yesterday!

Don't quote me on that.

This one is not part of the state project, but from a weekly reading log from my co-worker. We make sure the 4th graders put the title of the book and the author. Sometimes it's hard to find the author.

Rumblings and Musings

It's a busy time of year with field trips, big projects, and kids who can't sit still because the sun is out. I've been jotting a few things down over the past few weeks and finally have a little time to sit down and write. So without further ado...Deep thoughts. By fourth graders.

We were lining up for recess. I had on a black windbreaker. It looks nothing like leather. I had been wearing this jacket for about two weeks.
Luke: "Mr. Pajak, is that leather?"
"No Luke, I'm not sure what it is. I know it's not leather though."
Luke: "It looks like leather. Are you a biker?"

The students need to write a paragraph for the state project about their state's agricultural products. It took a little explaining to make sure everyone was on the same page with what 'agricultural products' are. After the long discussion, Josh had a question. "Why do they call them soybeans?"

After giving her state report to the class on Iowa, Becca asked Erin, "If you could live in your state, where would you live?" Erin's no-nonsense response: "I would not want to live in Iowa."

Natalie asked me during recess one day if I thought she talked a lot. She does. So I said yes. She responded with "My dad thinks I'm like my dad's mom, her name is Grandma Ann, she talks a lot too. He won't even talk to her on the phone."


And finally here is Samantha's latest spelling test. The parentheses are hers...Apparently she didn't even want to attempt number 11.

Stinky Paper

Today the students were working on some long division problems. I often have the students complete a few problems then check their work with me before they continue their practice. Today was no different and Natalie had just finished her problems and was at my desk to check her answers.

I love joking around with the kids, so when Natalie handed me her paper I said, "Ohhh. Man, this paper really smells!" I of course was completely joking.

Natalie's face showed a slight hint of redness, but a little smile crawled across her face, "Yeah, um, my hands are really sweaty."

Nobody else was at my desk, but I was worried that I had embarrassed her as Natalie is a girl who can be a bit self-conscious.

She took it in stride though continuing with, "It's kinda gross sometimes. I'll be working with my hand on the desk and then there will be this big wet spot."

I was finally able to tell her I was kidding, and that I didn't actually smell anything. She followed this with a slightly flustered sigh, but ended up going to her desk with a big smile on her face.

I will definitely not be smelling any of her papers she hands in.

State of Confusion

The culmination of our year in social studies is the State Project. Each student picks a different state and spends over a month researching, writing, and creating a presentation for that state. The excitement begins right before our spring break when states are chosen.

Each class can only have one student per state so they bring in a "top 10" list of the states they would like to research. I choose names out of a hat, and whoever is picked gets their top choice that hasn't been taken. Every year some students leave early for spring break (because school isn't quite as important as it used to be apparently) so they give their list to another student to keep track for them. Carly gave her list to to Brittany because she was going to be in Florida.

After the first couple of states had been chosen to lots of sighs, groans, and incoherent mumbling, Brittany walked up to me with the classic 'I need some help' look on her face. She whispered, "Mr. Pajak?" I waited for the rest. It took longer than I expected, but finally she said, "Um, is Chicago a state?" I told her that it was a city in Illinois. "Well, Carly has that as one of her choices what should I do?" Aware that the class was ridiculously antsy to get going, I had her just write down Illinois in that spot.

After the next state was chosen, Brittany was back up to talk to me. To keep things moving, I just had her give me Carly's list. I found out why she was confused:

Carly's Top 10 List
1. Texes
2. Alaska
3. Arizono
4. Hatti
5. Florida
6. Woconsin
7. Chicogo
8. N. Dakota
9. Mexico
10. New yourk

Home Sweet Home

Social studies tests are often a challenge for the 4th graders because this is the first year where they actually need to 'study' for tests. This year has proven to be no different. Thankfully scores have been steadily improving as the year has gone on and the students have learned to study and take notes.

We recently finished studying the midwest region of the United States. The test scores for this chapter were the highest they've been all year. I expected this, not only are the little Einsteins getting better at studying, but we live in the midwest. While the test scores were very good overall, there were a few answers that surprised me. After all, we live here.

Which of these four questions would be the hardest for you?
I'm guessing your answer is not #7. Did I mention this is where we live?

Wow. I'm pretty sure he meant it has good soil. Still, wow.

Run on Sentences in 4th Grade? Yep!

We are reading a novel called The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo in reading over the next few weeks. The students need to write a response log after every five chapters. I encourage them to tell me their reaction to what they've read, not give me a summary. Here's how different writing abilities can be in 4th grade:


One Sentence (out of 8) from Megan's Response Log:
I thought when Pellegrina told the story, that was a very important part because she sort of hinted to Edward that she knew that he was a very cold-hearted bunny..


Colby's ENTIRE Response Log:
I liked the part where Pellegrina told Abilene the story about the princess liked that part because Abilene kept on asking Pellegrina if there would be a story that night and Pellegrina said there will be a story tonight and there was a story that night and then why wouldn’t the boys give the rabbit back.

Some Randoms

It's that time of year right now. January and February can seem to drag on f o r e v e r. Good thing I have 4th graders to help lighten my day when there isn't much light outside. I've been jotting down some comments, questions, and remarks over the last couple of weeks that have helped make my day a little bit brighter.

In religion we've been studying the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. We had just finished reading about the resurrection as a class when Megan volunteered to read the next paragraph about the ascension. She began reading, "The assassination of Jesus occurred ...."

Another religion topic we recently covered is baptism. While discussing baptism I noticed several students looked confused when I mentioned that our baptism cleanses us from original sin. So I asked "Who knows what original sin is?" Alexander held up his hand confidently, "I'm pretty sure that means abortion."

The students were working nice and quietly one day when I overheard John say to nobody in particular, "I wonder what language cursive came from?"

We are studying the midwest region of the United States in social studies. One of our 'tour stops' was Iowa and its vast cornfields. We talked about all of the products that are made with corn. The one that Billy couldn't believe: "I NEVER knew popcorn came from corn. I guess it makes sense though!"

My students often come up to me while they're working and ask me questions that have nothing to do with what they should be doing. Today's question from Crystal: "Mr. Pajak, what's your favorite subject to teach?" A good question, albeit a tad random. I replied, "Well, I guess it depends on the day." Crystal, still very interested asked, "How 'bout on Mondays?"

Not Just for Smoking

The other day we were talking about Jamestown, Virginia in social studies. We are studying the southeast region of the United States, and one of our tour stops was the first permanent English settlement in the United States. The discussion started with the difficulty the settlers had surviving. The students were amazed that people kept going to live in Jamestown even though so many people died. I then explained that growing tobacco changed the outlook of Jamestown.

As soon as I mentioned tobacco, 20 out of 23 hands were up. the first question was, "Isn't tobacco that stuff people smoke?"

I replied, "Yes, people smoke tobacco. It's in cigarettes, cigars, and some people use pipes to smoke it. Back in those days they used to grind up tobacco leaves and shove it up their noses."

I got the expected reaction on that one. Lots of "eeeeew, grooooosssssss, and really?"

Then someone asked, "Why do people do that anyway?"

Before I had a chance to respond someone else blurted out, "Oh I heard it's kinda like drinking or something."

At this point I tried to reel the kids back in to our discussion, but then I made the mistake of calling on Alexander. "Well can't you, like, chew, it or something."

I said, "Yes you can chew it too. The settlers were able to sell the tobacco to the people in England because they enjoyed doing all these things."

Another hand up. "Well, did they sprinkle it on their food and stuff too?"

"No. They didn't sprinkle it on their food. Let's get back to what happened later in Jamestown."

Joel's hand shot up and I, against my better judgement, impatiently said, "Yes Joel?"

"Isn't there something called.. tobacco sauce?"

I couldn't hold in a little chuckle, "No, you're thinking of Tabasco Sauce. That's just a spicy pepper sauce. It has nothing to do with tobacco. Aaaaand with that, we are officially done talking about tobacco."

Mmmmm Peanut Butter!

Every morning we have 'snack time' in 4th grade because our class doesn't go to lunch until 1:00. Most of the time the students bring in Cheez-Its, pretzels, or fruit. Today Mark was eating celery that was generously slathered with peanut butter. I was impressed with the unique snack so I commented, "Wow Mark, that looks awesome! What a great snack to bring. I love peanut butter!"

Mark is fairly reserved, so he just smiled and made an awkward comment that was somewhat of a 'thank-you' and 'I like peanut butter too.'

Samantha is not reserved. She immediately jumped at the chance to get involved in a conversation and said to me, "My dad loves peanut butter. He puts it on everything!"

Being a fan myself I responded, "I like to put it on a lot of things too. I don't know about everything though... My favorite is dipping Oreos in peanut butter."

Samantha replied, "I've had Peanut Butter Oreos before, but I never dipped them in peanut butter."

"I didn't know they made Peanut Butter Oreos!"

Samantha's straightforward answer, "Yep they do. They have peanut butter in the middle instead of milk."

"Milk?" I replied.

"Yeah, that's what's in the middle of regular oreos."

"Umm, Samantha, that's not milk in the middle."

"Yes it is. What else would it be? It's white."

I explained, "That doesn't make it milk. Lots of things are white. That's just the creme filling."

"Well creme is like milk. It's kind of the same thing." Samantha was still dead serious at this point.

"No not really, milk is a liquid. This is like a frosting."

Samantha, who didn't seem to be convinced, ended the conversation with, "Well. Whatever..."

You Forgot What?

This morning, before school started, I was walking back to my classroom from the office. Jeffrey, a 4th grader from another homeroom, was walking towards me with a 'where am I' look in his eyes. He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed. Disheveled hair, shoes untied, wrinkled clothes, and a face with bits of breakfast still sticking. I noticed that he had his school uniform pants, but was wearing a very wrinkled brown t-shirt instead of the school uniform red polo.

As we neared each other, I could tell he wanted to say something so I said "What's up Jeffrey?"

Receptive, but far from understanding Jeffrey replied, "Um. Mr. Pajak? Do you know if they have extra...shirts. Here?"

I replied "Where is your shirt?"

"Uh. I dunno. Well, uh. I kinda forgot it." This was followed by a shame-filled downward glance.

Luckily we have a a collection of shirts in the nurse's office. Although, most are for the little kids who spill on themselves at lunch. I informed Jeffrey that there were plenty of extras and we could go take a look.

As we walked into the nurse's office, I asked him, "How did you forget to wear your shirt?"

A more focused Jeffrey replied, "I was in kind of a run this morning I guess."

It took a bit, but we did find a shirt that fit. It was a little tight though.

Vocabulary Words, Take Two

This week we are reading some stories about ancient China. To help the students understand the stories we reviewed some vocabulary words before reading. The vocabulary words were:
temples
dynasties
heritage
preserve
overjoyed

We talked about the definitions of each word and also read some sentences that included each of the words. Then it was their turn to show me how well they understood the words. I had the students write five sentences using each word in one of the sentences. Here are some of the sentences that were handed in (all from different students!):

I wish I could be a dynasties.


I preserve shark teeth.


I got a little overjoyed on my birthday so I had to sit in my room.


My bed is preserved for me.


I preserved my bed.


My dynasties are to blow peoples minds.


Tomorrow we will be working on vocabulary words again.

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Every week we have a student who is the "Star of the Week." On Friday afternoons the 'star' gives a short presentation about themselves. Each student brings pictures and other meaningful items from home to share with the rest of the class. The rest of the class has a chance to ask questions after the presentation. The students usually ask the 'star' questions like "What is your favorite color?" and "Where is the coolest place you've ever been?" It's a good activity to help the class and me get to know each student better.

John was our "Star of the Week" this week. The students asked John all the typical questions and he had pretty typical responses. Except for these two:

Erica: "What is your favorite kind of pie?"
John: "Chicken pot pie."

This got a few chuckles from the kids. A few questions later and we got this.

Josh: "What's your favorite animal?"
John: "Hmmm. Probably a unicorn. Or a pony."

No laughs at that one. Just a lot of blank stares. And an awkward 20 seconds of silence before the next question.

Santa is Coming to Town

We started a writing project last week to work on persuasion techniques. To introduce the project I had the students do a quick writing exercise with the directions as follows:

Pretend you are one of Santa's reindeer. Write a short letter to Santa Claus to persuade him that you should get a year off this year.

The students were excited to get started as soon as I went over the directions, but a few students had some questions. There were the typical questions like "How long does it have to be?" and "Do we need to spell everything right?" One student asked, "Can I pretend I'm any one of the reindeer?" I told Jillian that she could pretend to be whichever reindeer she wanted. Then Alexander's hand shot up.

"I could even be Rudolph?!"

Before I could answer, Josh replied in matter-of-fact tone:

"Rudolph isn't one of the reindeer. That's just a story. You have to be one of the real ones."

I decided to leave that one alone. The kids decided after a brief debate that Rudolph was a reindeer and therefore you could pretend you were him.

Whew.

About 10 minutes later, I overheard a conversation between Natalie and Samantha. They were discussing some of the things they wanted this year for Christmas. My favorite quote from their conversation:

"Santa always comes to my house. Even if I'm bad. I think.... (with great concentration and focus) my parents might have something to do with it though.

I just pray they don't ask me questions about these things...

Mass Behavior

We had parent-teacher conferences last week. I usually get a little anxious during conferences because just when I think everything is going great, a parent surprises me with a "I can't believe how terrible at teaching you are!"

Well maybe it's not that bad, but every once in a while I do get caught off guard. This year's fall conferences went great. No big surprises, everyone seems satisfied with their child's progress, lots of funny stories.

I did have one humorous surprise though. I was meeting with Samantha's parents and it was going great. Samantha does very well academically and is an extremely funny little girl. I shared a few of Samantha's funny comments, and her parents told me a few of the stories she tells them about me. The parents and I both agreed that Samantha's biggest struggle was spelling in her everyday writing.

Then Samantha's mother asked if she had gotten in trouble at mass earlier in the year. I explained that I didn't recall any incidents with Samantha and that I usually tell the class that they should know how to act at mass since they are 4th graders. Occasionally, if the class has trouble acting like '4th graders' they lose a couple minutes of recess.

Samantha's mom laughed and said she must have been part of the reason they lost minutes because she found what looked like an apology letter for her mass behavior. She said she kept it because she thought it was quite funny. She also asked if I wanted her to send it to me because I might get a kick out of it. So without further ado... How to behave like a fourth grader at mass:

So You're a Little Frustrated...

This is an email a coworker received. Word for word.

Hi Mrs. Wolfe --

Sorry to say we misplaced Joe's report card over the weekend before his father had a chance to go over it w him.  Would it be possible to send another copy home today, either w Joe or put in my mail slot in the school office?  

Also, the note about vision check reminds me to let you know Joe has recently lost his THIRD pair of glasses this year.  I am still so effin furious about it that I am blocking it from my mind, and don't know when or if I will be prepared to fork over another $169 to replace them. He wears a patch at home for his amblyopia. 

In case you were wondering.  

Thanks!